Vande Mataram...

....the force of the nation

With the "I will sing - I won't sing," controversy going around the National Song, Vande Mataram, I go back to the days when I was chanting the two words as a Mantra. Today,
September 7, they say is the centenary of the song and my way of celebrating it was by singing it all to myself at home and revelling in its lilting music and devotion. This was by the way, my first song on the microphone, when I sang it together with my friend Kavitha Thampi in the sports ground of my school C.S.I. Ewart Matriculation Higher Secondary School, in class VIII. The reverberations of the song on that day, nearly three decades ago, still ring in my ears.
I found a book by Sri Aurobindo on Bankim-Tilak-Dayananda in my collection. There I found a translation of Bankim Chandra Chatterjee's Bande Mataram, original Bengali.
Besides the words that are commonly known to the public, the poem is in praise of Mother India, signified as the powerful voice of millions, the strength and wisdom.

Sapta Koti Kanta Kalakala Ninada Karale
Dwisaptakoti Bhujairdhrutha Kharakaravale
Abala Kena Ma Eta Bale!

Bahubala Dharinim Namami Tarinim
Ripudala Varinim Mataram
Tumi Vidya Tumi Dharma
Tumi Hridi Tumi Marma
Twam Hi Pranah Sharira
Bahute Tumi Ma Shakti
Hrudaya Tumi Ma Bhakti
Tomarayi Pratima Gadi Mandire Mandire

Twam Hi Durga Dashapraharana Dharini
Kamala Kamala Dala Viharini
Vani Vidyadayini Namami Twam
Namami Kamalam Amalam Atulam
Sujalam Suphalam Mataram,
Vande Mataram
Shyamalam Saralam Susmitam Bhushitham
Dharanim Bharanim Mataram!

******
I offer my salute to the song that moved millions.
*****

Little children singing

...God Delights to Hear

It is my third year into my interaction with a bunch of these little chirpy children at the Aksharabhyas every Saturday. And what a divine experience it has been. I remember hearing them for the first time. They were quietly sitting and singing some bhajan and the mood was elevating. Soon after they broke into a dance and action to sing their favourite bhajan 'Thondhi Ganapathi Va Va Va,' in Tamil and with greater action in Hindi, 'Kha the bhi Ram Kaho...Peethe bhi Ram Kaho...' sitting, standing, turning around with several histrionics combined. When they began dancing, the whole dynamics of the energy in the room changed and I could feel a different presence, a different vibration dancing through the room.
And these young children are so quick to understand too. When we sing, "Bham Bham Bhola,' I will ask, "Where is Shiva? Is he in the Himalayas? In Mount Kailash, doing Tapas?" They will not take a moment to reply - "No....Inside us."
The same is the reply for what ever I ask them. They never make a mistake in that...god is everywhere, god is here, god is there, god is outside and most importantly god is inside.
Contemplating on the word Aksharabhyas, I found that Akshara is a group of letters beginning with A and ending with Ksha. It also means the soul...that which is beyond destruction. That Akshara, is the word of God. And Abhyas is to practice again and again and again. Practice is required because in case of an emergency, the knowledge has to happen in an instant. And preparation for war has to happen during times of peace. And the times of crisis where the divine word has to be called for armour and weapons is the war here. And practice for that ushering has to happen during times of peace...that is when there is no crisis, no troubles and no problems in life...exactly at the time of life that these children are in - growing from bliss to bliss.

The Freedom...

...of Consciousness

I am breaking a long period of self-imposed silence on my blog on this Independence Day when, happy or not, there seems to be a smile on people's faces that I see, wearing the tri-colour badge, hoisting flags or just enjoying a national holiday.
August 15, 1947 is Independence Day indeed. But that is only one facet of Independence we are talking about. Political independence, from the British Rule when symbolically, the Union Jack went down and the tri-colour of Sanyas, Peace and Prosperity, with the wheel of Dharma representing the core values of India, fluttered in the night air, 59 years ago.
But is that all. Indeed not. If we are talking of a spiritual emanicipation, a freedom of the mind, then India has never been in bondage. She has lost small battles, but has eventually won the war of life.
And India I speak of here is not a country with geographical boundaries and physical features, but a state of mind. But this knowledge of what is true freedom, the experience of what it means to be free...still is contained in the hearts of a miniscule per cent of the population. Even though they are expressing themselves, the sleeping hordes, ruled by Tamas is unable to open its eyes and receive the truth.
It is when it becomes the knowledge and the reality of the masses, whether in Chandigarh or Chennai, Mumbai or Madurai, Kashmir or Kanyakumari, when people walk on the roads conscious of their true self, when they talk to each other in the spirit of 'Tat Twam Asi,' in the awareness that matter is just condensed Consciousness, the truth of their being sons of the soil - a drop of that nectar - Amritasya Putraha...till that time comes, the struggle for the real freedom will continue...

Guru

...Paduka

Anantha Samsara Samudra Tara

Naukayitabhyam Guru Bhakthidabhyam

Vairagya Samrajyatha Pujanabhyam

Namo Namah Shri Guru Padukabhyam.

One of the most beautiful eight verses of the Guru Paduka Stotram (Praise of the feet of the Guru) that has inspired and continues to inspire me. Sung in lilting chants, the verses never fail to transport one to the essence of the word Guru. Gu - Darkness and Ru one who dispels it. Guru also means something that is very heavy.

The essence of the eight verses means I worship the feet of the Guru that sails me through the ocean of Sansara as if in a boat.

When I wondered about the words. 'Guru's Feet,' while chanting the most powerful mantras of the Guru Puja, I realised that feet are not exactly the to parts of the body that touch the ground. They are indeed the bearers of the whole being of the Guru, rooting his body and mind that travels aloft in inter-galactic space, down on the earth so we may be able to perceive them with our earthly senses.

There is no darkness if there is no light too. So what darkness does the Guru dispel. The darkness of misconception that everything is divided and separate - the cause for all the illusion, confusion, desparation, boredom, failure, depression or anything that drags us down.

When there are moments I have gone through all these kinds of degrading emotions, I discovered that all I have to do is chant the name of my Guru, breathe in deeply, letting the breath pierce through the conflicting mind and touch the ocean of stillness not so deep within.

And so life goes on....

Happy....

...birthday Swamiji

For those who have been following my blog since its birth in April 2005 might have noticed the metamorphosis of the title from Aham to Aksharoham to Akshara now. A reader asked me if it refers to Swami Akshara. Indeed it does and I am today happy to join many, many others like me in celebrating his birthday to follow in another hour on June 12.
I invite the readers today to go back to my post on June 12 last year as I present to you a poem I wrote on my Guru, Swami Akshara in January 2004 as my offering for his birthday.

Namaste

"Namaste," he will welcome,
With eyes sparkling without
And placid compassion deep within
His gaze will draw you with reverence
Into the silence that's his home eternal
Swami Akshara they call him
But for many earthlings like me
Gathered around this radiant sun
Swamiji he is, who dispels all darkness.
Like a rock in the sculptor's hand
With just a tiny chisel - working miracles
We find ourselves getting transformed
With his gentle touch from space afar.
"Expand," he would shout
When we go with a mind so shrunken
"Withdraw," he would command
When restless, we want to overdo.
Sometimes it is a pat on the back
And at other times, a rap on the knuckles
But with whatever Swamiji does or says
It's from his love for our tiny selves.

When we laugh, he laughs with us
And in distress, you can trust he's just around
But once caught in his net of love
There's no escape for
He says, "I am with you."
From empty space came he
This Akshara, the invincible emptiness
The nothing that's everything
Is in human form for us to touch and see.
"Look at the space beyond
But don't forget that tiny flower beneath
In everything lies the divine
In all that you see and cannot too."
This is all he says

Through many a talk

And by the thousands they wait

To hear the speech of silence

Many call him a Sathguru

"But I'm Guru to none," says he.

And this infinity walks in flesh and blood

To unite the space across minds.

Some see him as Sankara

For some, he's Christ in form

But Wahe Guru or Allah

The source is one, says he.

His form is Satchitananda

But he can touch you like the wind

Like the rays of the summer sun

The conflicting mind scoots at the thought of him.

To those who close their eyes

He says, "Open and see the divine."

For others who never could shut them

He says, "Sit and feel him within."

My Guru Akshara has a way for each

He plays with us and dines too

But watch out he will not spare

Till the light eternal you do become.

- Swahilya

The battle...

...of the sexes

I really wanted to find a beautiful picture to match this post which is a request from Robbie, and thought this was the best!
When we talk of the male and the female sex, it is not even at the level of the mind, leave alone the soul, which is neither male nor female, tall nor short, good nor bad, but one homogenous matrix that is present in everything and everywhere.
The battle if any is just at the physical level and the gross mind, very close to the body level of thinking.
And what we think is a battle, is indeed not so too. It is a struggle for evolution. And evolution, growth and progress can happen only when there is a challenge to the present conditions. Speaking from my own experience, I have heard people complain: Oh what womanhood, so many trials and tribulations, so many people to answer to, so much to bear with resilience and silence..." But any amount of withstanding of challenges thrown at you from whatever direction is to strengthen one's own experience to get back to the now. And whoever has the most of it, is indeed fortunate.

And it ought to be a battle of the sexes, because that is the major factor separating human from human, besides many other smaller or bigger factors such as caste, language, religion or nationality.
When the point of view shifts to the physical, the gross mind, the battle is bound to be. But when the focus shifts to the consciousness within, then there is no battle. If any wound is inflicted upon, it is for one's own growth, one's own progress. How else is one to realise the sad state of affairs one has been caught in. If there is no fight, there is no struggle, there is no pain, there is no existence.
The battle of the sexes, is the very essence of Sansar which has to be observed and transcended. It is inevitable. It is necessary, if the world has to turn round and round.

Swahilya's

....Kutir

I am aware my blog has been stagnating since Tamil New Year, when I posted 'An Ode to Akshara Griha.' Well, the reason for this delay is 'Swahilya's Kutir.' In the heart of the bustling city of Chennai, in a corner space is this little kutir that I stay, colourful screens constantly fluttering in the wind, wind chimes, chirping music by the birds and squeaking squirrels, breaking the silence surrounding the solitude.
'Ashram' is a place where one just comes, to relax, let the agitations of body and mind settle down, get refreshed and rejuvenated and get charged to face the world with more and more of divine inspiration. It was my wish that I should stay in an ashram - and that has now happened in a very small place, just where I stay, an ashram in miniature model.
This is a place where the old meets the new, the most ancient building space, named Gitalaya, because the owners were brought up on the Bhagavad Gita, built during the year of Indian Independence. Modern with the use of simple gadgets that help in the fast-paced lifestyle.
Symbolic of all that meditation is all about, being rooted and at the same time expressing as the most freshest of flowers and leaves, branching out into space. It is a blending of Sansar and Sanyas, almost at the threshold, where the hectic work of family and office go on side by side with the silence of travelling inward into my own self.

And there's just one thing left with me to offer at the end of it all, myself with gratitude.

*****

An ode to...

Akshara Griha

Akshara Griha was the name I gave my house, which came to me by nothing other than sheer grace. It was when I needed a piece of land to call my own, I searched and then sat down, giving up everything and surrendering. The house that was waiting two years unoccupied, happened like a miracle, through random casual conversations, in just a week's time.

But the moment I stepped in, the beauty with which pictures, photographs and statues and pieces of art and material use found their place, showed to me the conscious presence of the all within four walls.

It was a conscious entity by itself, I saw. It had its period of cacophony and eutrophy and abundant moments of symphony and order, following a conscious pattern. There were times when I went far, far away from my home only to return and find that the moment I step in, I feel quiet, meditative, peaceful, the undescribable presence filling me up.

Letting open the door facing east brought in a piece of the Universe every morning and how many an opportunity to realise the divine presence has the door lens, the boiling tea in the kitchen, the lamps and incense in the meditation space, the soft winds from the living room, the hot water from the geyser, the synchrony of space and matter in the walls and the self-tidying process of nature in the sleeping room, the calling bell which sings Om Namah Shivaya, Jai Jai Ram Jai Shri Ram and the Gayatri Mantra, has never failed to let me know who is it that knocks at the door.

Today, I had to move out of that place to another place in my city and I find it is the same space, the same music, the same synchrony, the same silence and in fact, more and more of it. My journey through time and space continues and Akshara Griha was an important milestone.

What is...

...and should be

The past two days my mind was tossed about with a Hamletian confusion of a different kind - it was not thankfully a question of 'To be or not to be,' but between 'What is and what should be.'
Though in reality I know that everything is one spiritual essence, there is always a nagging botheration of missing something dear in space and time.
I put it across to my Guru, Swami Akshara, when he happened to make a rare appearance on my chat box as he does to many a disciple. It was one of the most liberating Satsanghs I had when his reply to my expressions of a confusion led me to a confluence in the end.
Those words which I noted down, I have etched them and have his permission to share it with you: "The distance between 'what is' and 'what should be' is the cause for all misery. That's called 'Bondage.' And freedom from that is known as 'Liberation.' What is' = Present. 'What Should be' = Future. 'What should have been' = Past. People get trapped in the last two, mostly.
'What should be' leads to anxieties and fantasies. 'What should have been' leads to regrets. And 'What is' leads to truth, fulfilment. The mind is denying the present and seeking the absent."
Even as I was reading them, I watched how my mind tried to escape into the future of what should be, or in the past of what was once and how it wouldn't sit now in the present moment.
It was a liberating revelation.

Presence...

...Experience

These last few days have been a glimpst of the experience of uninterrupted presence in my life. While practising Yoga, I saw that the moving of the body is to experience the presence outside as much as I can stretch and bend. Pranayama is to experience the presence within, through the air we breathe and finding out where the air stops and gets back. Knowledge is to study the presence of the divine in the space within the mind. Nada Yoga is to see and experience the presence in the silence at the end of and through every sound. That silence and space is a holder for the presence.
Everything holds the presence. The presence holds everything in it. It doesn't matter if we win or lose, slip and fall and rise again, the presence is always there and the same. Just experiencing, like these trees.